Sunday, January 03, 2010

Tiger Tiger

Tiger Tiger sinning bright
Crashed his SUV one night

Brit Hume here for the amazing Redeem-O-Matic Christian sinwashing system. That's right folks, no accountability, no bitchy paybacks, no hard work, no punishment, no silly pagan begging for rice in uncomfortable robes! This miracle device lets you feel like you're off the hook instantly and it won't cost you a dime. Come to Jesus now ( 'cause you know we can't do this all day) and we'll double the offer -- you get 14 adulteries washed for one dunk.

Fox hound Hume tells nominally Buddhist Tiger Woods and us that Buddhism is a second rate religion because you don't get the same quick-kick forgiven feeling you get with Christianity. No, really.
'Tiger turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."
said Hume to Chris Wallace on Fox this morning. Well I don't know about old Prune Face, but I would prefer my "great example" to spend more than a Sunday morning's glossolalia session and perhaps seek to make amends to his wife and children -- perhaps even to any of those women he may have deluded into thinking their relationships were going anywhere before punching the reset button on his moral character.

Of course the selling of Christianity like some labor saving kitchen device or laundry product should offend Christians and I'm sure it does, hell, I feel offended for them, but that's Fox, and that's Hume. Join our tribe, buy our stories, splash on some anger sauce and religious whitewash and you'll feel better about your sorry self right away. You getting this camera guy?


tom sheepandgoats said...

Sigh.....and he used to be such a role model...Woods, that is.

How is he ever going to return to golf? Can you picture him trying to focus amidst snickers and catcalls from fans (if not fellow players) and paparrazi helicopters overhead. His sport is not basketball or football where people expect outrageous conduct. It is golf....good ol mundane, sit on your tush, traditional values golf.

Your spiritual commentary is right-on, too.

Capt. Fogg said...

I fell sorry for all the people who saw him as a role model and were proud of the gentlemanly behavior he pretended to. There needed to be the man he pretended to be. Those young people who look to sports for role models have too many rich bums to chose from and too few really worthy of looking up to. I don't follow Golf, but I did expect it to be more of a gentleman's game than our traditionally sacred war games. I liked the idea that he could play at clubs his father never could have entered.

He's been a boon to comedians for sure, but all in all I wish he wasn't.

Funny how people find that old Retail Religion when they get caught and I think so far it's a plus that he hasn't used that to wash away instead of owning up to the way he betrayed his wife. It's her forgiveness that will require more than Fox News' get out of sin free card.