Three is the lucky number

Maybe good news comes in threes. Darth Cheney's battery needs replacement. Maybe they should give the contract to Halliburton to replace it with something substandard and overpriced? Maybe the sinister Energizer bunny is finally going to run down, maybe not, but it just makes me feel good to know someone is taking a scalpel and making an incision in Cheney.

Paris is going back to the slam with tears ruining her makeup and snot running from her overly long nose. It's intellectually rewarding to think about her having to go through it again. Who can resist a smile?

If Secretary of Defense Robert Gates' recommendations are followed, General Peter Pace will be replaced by Admiral Michael G. Mullen the new Chief of Naval Operations who is getting some applause by jettisoning some unpopular brass seen as yes-men to the Bush administration.

We are a very long way from a military coup, but it does seem that sanity might be breaking out at the Pentagon. Gates appointment as head of CentCom, Admiral William Fallon has been opposing Neocon demands for yet another carrier group to be sent into the Persian gulf. According to Think Progress, Hillary Mann, the administration’s former National Security Council director for Iran and Persian Gulf Affairs, warned that some Bush advisers secretly wanted an excuse to attack Iran and were planning to provoke some response similar to the Gulf of Tonkin Incident. Fallon has insisted privately that an attack on Iran won't happen on his watch. I don't want to seem too optimistic, but maybe some adults are finally going to take back the kindergarten from Commander Guy.

Free in five days!

There are events that absolutely overwhelm any attempts to portray them cynically. All I can do right now is report that Paris Hilton is home from jail for undisclosed "medical" reasons. She's under house arrest, but we can be sure Chez Hilton is more comfortable than a jail cell and more accessible to visitors.

If Bush had pardoned Scooter this morning, I could no doubt dredge up some dark sarcasm, but right now all I can do is roll my eyes and make choking noises.