One from column A. . .

In a way, I agree with the Evangelical Godbullies that cable and satellite TV services should allow customers to pick and choose what channels they pay to receive. The first things I would eliminate from my Satellite package would be the Evangelical channels. I consider them for the most part, to be as indecent as any of the other basic channel programming I avoid. South Park’s singing turd, in fact, is quite preferable to the 700 Club.

Of course the 'a la carte' plan has some Christian broadcasters worried about customers like me and rightly so. I have already blocked Trinity Broadcasting Network and Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network from my menu and a number of other even less reputable sources including Fox News, but if I could save a buck and apply it toward HBO or Showtime where I regularly watch the foul mouthed Sopranos, Dead!@$#%wood and Penn and Teller’s Bullshit, I would do it in a flash.

Colby May, attorney for the Faith and Family Broadcasting Coalition, fears that the only subscribers willing to pay to watch the demon Falwell or the repulsive Robertson or the other assorted shamans, charlatans and Bible babblers would be those already converted. I agree and that's why I like the plan. Perhaps being able to 86 the 666 morons would open up some room for some serious theology or Biblical history, or as long as I’m dreaming, a secular humanist or Buddhist or Hindu channel. I would rather pay to watch the Dervishes whirl than have the image of fat-face Falwell flatulating his fallacies and falsehoods in the sanctity of my living room at my expense.

Anyway, I can only dream. The real goal of the Faith Nazis is to keep me from having a free choice in the vain hope that some brain disease will allow me to fall into their clutches. I’m afraid their goal of infiltration and subversion is more likely of accomplishment than are my fantasies about freedom.