The Empire strikes back

Saddam once thought about Nuclear weapons, but he dismantled the program long before we attacked and destroyed his country to prevent him from maybe thinking about it again. Hundreds of billions of dollars and thousands of lives down the toilet to punish a tyrant without a bomb.

Kim Jong Il has a bomb of sorts, not a big one but then he’s a little guy and besides little nukes are still nukes. So what do we do to punish someone arguably as mad and every bit as much of a tyrant as little Kim?

You guessed it – we won’t sell him an iPod. No more cognac, Rolex watches, cigarettes, artwork, expensive cars, Harley Davidson motorcycles or even personal watercraft, such as Jet Skis. Of course it’s quite hard to find any American products to deprive him of, so we have to do what we can to make his life intolerable and it’s a plan that works well as you can judge from our success in ousting Fidel Castro from Cuba.

So take that, Jongy – you’ll have to make do with live music – or simply buy your toys from their countries of origin. You can probably get them cheaper on the internet anyway.