Where there's a Will, there's a way

Und der Haifisch, der hat Zähne. Und die trägt er im Gesicht. Und Macheath, der hat ein Messer. Doch das Messer sieht man nicht ...

-Berthold Brecht-

George F. Will writes a column for Newsweek called The Last Word. It t should be called the Fast Word. One gets carried along by his clever erudition and when he’s successful, the games he plays with language and logic go unnoticed.

His piece in the December 5th issue follows in the path of most of Will’s swill by attempting to obscure Republican financial transgressions by alleging similar infractions and hypocrisies by the California Democrats, but the real gravamen of his tediously relentless Liberal Bashing lies in another one of his usages.

“Attacks on freedom of political speech are becoming more brazen. Because the attackers aim to enlarge government's control of the political campaigns that decide who controls government, the attacks advance liberalism's program of extending government supervision of life.”

Never mind that political speech no longer bears any relationship to truth and there is no accountability. Never mind the Swift Boat Liars for Bush. Will, like many Republican banshees and like Orwell’s Big Brother, defines Liberal as Totalitarian or at least Authoritarian. Like Most Republican supporters, he has no problem with authoritarian practices like spying on citizens and suspending Habeas Corpus because he finds them useful. Democratic ideas of limiting the influence of the massively wealthy is not useful, so it’s authoritarian.

To him then, a crime is a crime only by virtue of who commits it. It’s about what side you’re on and the reasons for being on Will’s side are, like Mack’s knife, hidden.


Unlike most Republican supporters, Will probably has read Orwell. Like them, he’s not ashamed to base his arguments on conveniently reversed terms, doublethink and doubletalk. So when we read “The Last Word” we should not expect, unfortunately, that it will be.


But we live in a world like that; where people howl about moral relativism in language so idiosyncratically defined that anything can mean anything they want it to. If I mention that Bush’s war in Iraq is mostly supported by people who have blind faith in Bush, I can be accused of being a communist – because Marx made statements about religion. If the Kansas School board can’t make Faith fit with Science, they can redefine Science as Faith.

Oh well, in that case. . . . .

JAILHOUSE ROCK

Got kids? You may want to look into this. Saw Jailhouse Rock 47 times? You’ve got to have it. Want to lease space to the CIA for the non-torture of prisoners? Buy this jail.

Huntsville Missouri is selling the Randolph County Jail on eBay – prisoners not included. The historic building has 4,396 sq. ft. above ground and it has a full basement. Asking price $32,500. Just the spot for a blues club or a religious cult or make it into – wait, that’s illegal in Missouri.

The warden threw a party in the county jail
The prison band was there and they began to wail
The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing
You should've heard those knocked out jailbirds sing
Let's rock, everybody, let's rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock