Friday, May 23, 2008

For the pipes of the Lord have spoken it

You know the "reverend" Phelps and you've heard about the Westboro Baptist Church, which consists mostly of his family. They're the creeps who picket military funerals with "God hates fags," "Thank God for 9/11" and "thank God for dead soldiers" banners and tell mourners their lost sons and daughters were killed by God because our country doesn't actively persecute homosexuals.

They appeared in Stuart Florida today to picket a Memorial Day ceremony honoring, as we do on this holiday, the fallen in our many wars: it wasn't a good choice of venue. Local motorcycle clubs, which in this area include many, many veterans, pledged to turn out and they did, the distinctive rumble of V twin's rumbling up East Ocean Drive past the county courthouse and to the band shell and park where the array of white crosses was set out in the 92 degree heat.

Interviewed by the local paper, some tattooed and leather-wrapped bikers expressed their support for freedom of speech and for a country that allows such vermin to exercise it. Like Michelle Obama, I felt really proud for once. There was no violence, just words and signs blaring "don't listen to these idiots."

Asked by a reporter whether he liked what the "church" was doing today, a Phelps offspring of perhaps 5 years of age replied "yes" and "because it makes the Lord happy." like most opinions about what makes God smile, there was no evidence for it.

Whether or not God hates homosexuals or kills soldiers of countries that fail to punish them is something no one can know, but oddly today a drought of many months was broken in the city of Stuart by a heavy tropical thunderstorm, and the rain fell hard enough to bring a man to his knees; pouring down on the crosses, on the Phelps family, on the protesters and veterans alike, drowning the hate slogans of the Phelps', while thunder roared like Yahweh in his glory, blipping his throttle into wide open pipes.


Buffalo said...

The Freedom Riders show up for all of the funerals for our fallen in order to block the scum sucking Phelps' minion.

Phelps doesn't have the balls to show up himself. He sends women and kids.

When I think of Phelps I wish there was a god - and he was as queer as a $3.00 bill.

Georg said...

Hallo Cpt. Fogg,

As far as I can find out from here and just by reading US blogs, one of the big differences between Europe and the USA is the role played by religion. All kinds of religion.

I wonder how both our places will look like let's say in 50 years from now.

Already I have seen pictures of a US senator praying for rain, somewhere in a southern state.


Capt. Fogg said...


A lot of the bikers were local, but in Florida there are a lot of local bikers. It's a 12 month thing here.
If the Phelps Phreaks had been hit by lightening, I would have become a believer.


In my opinion, all this primitive religion and all the lies they tell about the US being a country founded on religion, is a signal of our decline.

Baltazar said...

Nobody hates froots more than right wing "froots" Roy Cohn for instance.

Capt. Fogg said...

I would be happy to start a rumor that Phelps is gay - I figure the odds are about 99:1 anyway.


d.K. said...

Please don't say Fred Phelps is gay... Gays haven't done anything to deserve that, LOL

Capt. Fogg said...

I hadn't thought of it that way! Actually I'm insulting us all by calling him human.

Seriously, listening to this insect tell me all about his god who kills people for not persecuting unauthorized love makes me wish there were a hell where he could be painfully buggered for all of eternity.

I have a personal thing about being unwilling to rejoice in anyone's death, but I've got a bottle of Champagne waiting for the day.

d.K. said...

I know the feeling. I tried hard to find my better angels (er..) after Rev. Falwell died. But alas, it didn't happen and somehow, I don't feel so bad about that...

Chris said...

I've been to a number of soldiers' funerals in the past few years with the Patriot Guard. The Phelps' logic is mind-numbing.

Proud to be a biker in America. Good ol' G.W. stills cares the bejeezuz outta me, but I'm still proud to be here.

RR said...

God -- sorry Capt... but i have to bitch to someone.

I've been going back and forth with this fundamentalist nut--case who simply doesn't see that "defining marriage" as one-man, one-woman begs the question we're debating (

By this persons logic interracial marriage should still be banned and sex in anything but the missionary position prohibited.

Capt. Fogg said...

Wow - what a can of worms that is!

Strange how all these patriots have totally forgotten that it's supposed to be about the inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, not about obedience to superstition.

If anyone hates us for our freedom, I think I can see who it is.