Friday, June 02, 2006

Stick that carrot!

Idiots rule. No I’m not talking about the Republicans or the idiots who vote for them, but the idiots who write for the media. There are few more malicious manglers of the English tongue than the pompous prattlers of the press. These are the people whose pretentious malapropisms drive real words into oblivion in the way bad money drives good money off the market.

I’ve wasted enough time complaining about people who insist that “negatively impacted” sounds better than “hurt” and who can’t tell the difference between affect and effect. Genital herpes is more treatable than newspeak addiction and I give up. The carrot and stick metaphor however is so widely misused that I have to say something before I’m forced to raid CNN headquarters with a basket full of lubricated carrots.

Years ago, a popular subject in political and other cartoons was the donkey cart driver who held a carrot from a string at the end of a stick so that the donkey, in trying to get at it, would move steadily forward. As a metaphor for a reward that cannot be reached or a ploy to dupe the ignorant, it served many a cartoonist well. That was back when impacts were collisions and people knew the difference between cars and trucks.

A CNN headline today shouts “Carrot-stick' deal agreed on Iran.” Ignoring the superiority of with or for to on, I’ll get straight to the point of the stick: The stick is not to punish the donkey. It’s not an alternative to the reward; it’s a method to deny the reward even if the donkey tries to take the carrot by moving forward. Thus the headline describes exactly the opposite of what the CNN morons are trying to say.

It’s bad enough that we’ve sold the American dream by following a tax-cut carrot on a stick, but I would rather learn Spanish than endure much more of CNN’s journalistic gibberish.

5 comments:

Crankyboy said...

Irregardless of whether or not you have a very unique view of the true facts of this case it has no effect on my opinion. Additionally, you have made an inflammable situation flammable.

Capt. Fogg said...

I'm fully impactified in a negative way and I am completely unanimous in that.

Intellectual Insurgent said...

The media have an incredibly annoying habit of writing in passive voice. Especially the headlines. It is a sign there is a whole lot of shuckin' and jivin' going on.

Odysseus said...

"a metaphor for a reward that cannot be reached or a ploy to dupe the ignorant"

This actually sounds like an accurate metaphor for the 'deal' being offered Iran. Sometimes the press is right on the money if you can read through the surface.

Btw, if you do learn Spanish, be sure to visit Spain. In Alicante yesterday there was a huge party at the port with a 15 ft. diameter paella, and get this - the party was put on to welcome adopted Alicantinos, or what are more commonly called immigrants, to the city and culture.

Capt. Fogg said...

I speak better Portuguese than Spanish, but I don't speak either one very well. I've been to Madrid a few times. Nobody threw a party for me, but it's a fascinating city.