Childe Rumsfeld

July the 11^th; I often fail to remember its approach until the last minute. Since I’m a guy and since that’s my wedding anniversary, I have to put notes on calendars and on my computer, lest I forget. The consequences would be grave, even if there were no consequences, as any married man can tell you.

Don Rumsfeld is undeniably of the same gender as I and perhaps he simply ran out of post-it notes or is trying to save us all some money by not having a secretary, but Don forgot July 11^th was growing near. Don of course, is not married to Congress, but none the less, that group of extraordinary gentlemen had ordered him to prepare a detailed report informing them and us of just how much progress has been made in stabilizing Iraq, how close the Iraqis are to being able to control their own country and just how powerful the “insurgency” remains. In other words, “support your argument for being able to talk about success.” Without this data we really have no yardstick with which to measure the promises trumpeted by the Administration's horn-blowers or to measure the length of their noses.

There’s a lot of data to gather and it would take some time to prepare if he had any interest in providing the complete facts, so perhaps he should be forgiven for turning his homework in late ( after Congress passed another resolution demanding it) and without any reference to the dog having eaten it. These things are hard work, as his Boss has reminded us over and again and usually before leaving for a lengthy vacation, but Childe Rumsfeld and his knights of the backroom table did eventually come through for us with a whopping 23 pages of blank questionnaires and excuses for not knowing the answers. “Rumbo” just doesn’t know how well we’re doing and so can’t tell you when and if we will ever be able to get out of there without leaving anarchy and civil war as our legacy. That doesn’t stop him from telling us he did his assignment and got an A on it or that we are on top of this game. Like any irresponsible parent, we take his word for it and don’t read the report card.

I’ve often accused this administration of amorality; of having no principles other than slogans, but that’s really not fair. Don Rumsfeld’s moral compass has two points: Let's not and say we did, and let’s do and say we didn’t. Put out more flags and blow the bugle, put ribbons on the Hummer and blame the Liberals, Rumsfeld has got it all covered.

Dauntless to my lips the slug-horn set,

and blew “Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came”