Where's the beef?

We know that we're all in imminent, clear and present danger from dangerous Chinese products. Horrified housewives bleat "will we ever feel safe anywhere?" on TV screens and Lou Dobbs gets so tired from the relentless jawboning about COM-unist China that he has to take a vacation before he pops an aneurysm. Danger danger - there's danger everywhere.

Of course there's another anti-American, freedom hating, Godless entity posing bigger dangers - and not only to our children, but to the troops who stand between us and the chaos Bush created in Iraq. Someone has been trying to poison them and to poison us and as if that weren't enough, they want to do it by using our sacred national meal, our national symbol: the Hamburger.

Of course you know I'm talking about the Topp's ground beef recall of what now appears to be of over 20 million pounds of e-Coli tainted beef. It's being pulled off the shelves of US military commissaries as well as from the shelves at the local supermarket. That's enough to sicken and kill countless people and keep so many troops in the latrine that they can't be deployed. That's enough to constitute a terrorist attack as big or bigger than most.

Of course our last line of defense, the Congress of the United States has the situation well in hand. The 2007 Farm bill passed by the House last July is awaiting the Senate stamp of approval and it protects us by relaxing inspection of meat products. Better we die than place an unnecessary burden on Agri-Business and thus reduce the benefits they supply to Senators. The beef industry does not agree that we need more inspectors and inspections and yes, it is their country not yours, you Left-Leaning, Tofu-eating, Liberal Surrender Monkey.