The Thrilla from Wasilla

Little Georgie won't be at the Republican convention in Minneapolis tomorrow, or so say the people who interpret his inchoate mumblings for us. The official story is that he "has concerns" about hurricane Gustav. The real story is probably different, but we'll never know whether he's been dis-invited or is simply having too much fun riding his bicycle in Beltsville, Maryland. I hear he's finally finished My Pet Goat and needs something else to do. Perhaps he'd like to surpass his already record number of vacation days and go for 1000.

The former Miss Walissa will be there with her pet goat however, while the Gulf Coast boards up and heads for high ground. It's harder to know what to do with the far greater national disaster looming ahead for this crumbling country as the idiots and the madmen and religious insurgents hold their quadrennial war dance and camp meeting. The storm surge of nationalistic, religious and anti-intellectual frenzy won't subside by Tuesday as will Gustav and there is no high ground to provide refuge from the "farleftliberal" screaming tsunami.

Of course it's possible that Bush is simply trying to be Georgie-on-the-spot in order to smooth over the inevitable memories of his legacy of uncaring incompetence and the images of him playing air guitar while New Orleans drowned. After all, as the representative of Petroleum, he has a vested interest in continuing their reign by electing McCain, but all in all, it really doesn't matter. This nation of enthusiastically ignorant saps will be so entranced with Miss Wasilla's little behind, we'll miss the best and possibly last chance we have to prevent our new century from being the last stand of western liberal democracy and becoming the bottomless tar pit of freedom.